Smells Good
Hello, the Right and Honorable Ladies and Gentlemen. Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Prince Charles the Prince of Wales. Alexei Bitchovitch and the Duchess of Carrington and Viscount of Hazelry Caramel Ludvig Von Stueben Mountbatten Windsor, Camellia, Pramilla, Charlotte, Victoria, Maria, Elizabeth, Uxbridge, Islington, Cambridge, Anhalt, Holstein, Hanover, Canterbury, Putney, Lancaster, Cornwall, York, Sheffield, Spencer, Gilbert, Alexandria, Roosevelt, Rockefeller, Darington Harrington, Carrington the Duchess of Carrington.
We also have other esteemed guests at this fantastic dinner. I hope you are enjoying the glasses of champagne with caviar sprinkled with gold dust as well as roast peacock and horse vagina seasoned with saffron,
Now I am a scientist from Yale University looking into solutions that will make urine, flatulence, and excrement taste and smell as delightful as champagne, perfumes, and a scrumptious chocolate pastry. Now, unfortunately, I tried everything including rosemary and thyme but unfortunately, it just won’t work out except on dear Thirsten Ohh Yesss your flatulence smell very good dear sir.
Also, many of the esteemed guests have been planning on launching rockets into space and hope to land on Mars and the Moon. Now I have been planning on another solution that if consumed will allow the drinker to flatulate so hard they can fly into space on their own. So the right and honorable gentleman Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk will definitely be delighted to fund that.
Now I know this state has a mask mandate and forbids large indoor gatherings due to COVID 19. But we are not like these dirty peasants outside who actually get sick and die with COVID if they are old and fat. Rules are for the peasants they are not for the nobles too dear sir. We have superior blood so we never ever catch with Covid. Only dirty peasants get Covid not us dear elites.
Now people also seem to think that we are too well off and actually demand we pay taxes which we never pay due to the loopholes and massive lobbyists and lawyers we have. I say to them how dare you sir I had to cut my twenty million dollar art budget in half and dear Thirsten can barely afford his private jet how on earth can we be well off.
Also, I hate it when people say oh America is an oligarchy, and wouldn’t it be better if it is a democracy. That is outrageous how on earth can the dirty peasants actually select our leaders if they can’t even point to the Pacific on a map. We the wealthy elite have class and brains, not like these poor dirty peasants they should just end up sweeping our floors and voting for people we like.
Now come to dear Thirsten we will all like to sniff your farts, BLLLLLLLLP yes your flatulence smell nice dear sir. Now I hope you are all willing to fund my research at my work at the Royal Academy of Great Britain.
Now excuse me while I play polo, golf and walk around by country estate with a cane and swing it around despite being way too young to have a cane.
Anyways that is all I have I was just horsing around a bit and trying to mock the over extravagance and pompousness and out of touchness of the elites and poking fun at some of the tropes and all that.
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